All about relationship

LIKE everything else you, wish to succeed in, relationships requires effort and investment.

How is the health status of your relationship account? When you start an account, you always start off with such enthusiasm and with goals to grow it into a healthy, strong one that will give you a happy future.

The thing is, most people open their relationship accounts with eagerness, only to get lazy and procrastinate over time, leading the relationship onto an unhealthy path.

Laziness will always set you up for failure, including your relationship. As a relationship matures and gets older, a couple tends to get lazy.

You get so comfortable with each other that you no longer bother to invest the time and effort you did at the beginning. People often believe that if they are comfortable in their relationship, then everything is okay and/or will work itself out. Being comfortable, however, does not always mean your relationship is healthy.

Being comfortable could simply means that you and your partner are used to being together and the way the relationship is – even if the relationship is lacking important things that could make it better.

This happens so gradually that sometimes a couple often does not know where things started going wrong and all they know is that their relationship has gone downhill and things do not feel the same any longer.

The excitement is gone, the passion has faded and the communication has gone from strong to weak, making it difficult for a couple to work together when they do realize that their relationship is in trouble.

The following are some things you and your partner need to constantly invest in your relationship account if you want to maintain a healthy and loving relationship:

Honesty: You have probably, heard the famous saying - honesty is the best policy. Well, it really is! While the truth may not always be pleasant, it is always better to let your partner know what you are thinking and how you are feeling, rather than keeping it all inside of you and expecting your partner to read your mind.

You also need to be open and accepting of the truth your partner shares with you about yourself and the relationship over all. If you are not willing to hear the truth(and the truth can be painful sometimes), then you are not willing to fully experience the relationship as a whole but instead choose to blind yourself from certain things because it makes life easier for you (or at least it will look that way to you). So invest honesty in your relationship every day throughout the whole year, being always honest with your partner and yourself.

Respect: - You and your partner can have extremely strong feelings for each other and may claim to love each other dearly and more than anything. Without respect, however, that love will get lost in the big shadow of disrespect that will take over your relationship. Respect may seem like something that is only natural for you and your partner to have for each other and that if you love each other then it will be very difficult to disrespect each other.

This may be true in the beginning when things are new between you, but in time things change and may require maintenance. As a relationship matures and you and your partner spend more time together, you will experience different things and will learn new things about each other.

Though the love you have for each other may be something you have in common, you two are still individual human beings with different habits, views, routines, interests and so on. You may not always like or agree with the way your partner handles things, believes things and says things but you will have to accept and respect that this is who he/she is.

If you cannot respect your partner and your partner does not respect you, then your relationship will not last. Even if it does, it will grow into an unhappy relationship that will invite many other stressful and painful issues.

Invest respect daily into your relationship and do not allow yourself to cross that line and enter the territory of disrespect. If you do so, you and your partner will not see each other the same way.

Expressions of love: You may see this one as a given, but it is not. People tend to get a little too comfortable as time goes by in a relationship and become less concerned with expressing their love and admiration for their partner.

This, most of the time, is not intentional, but it does happen, regardless of being intentional or not. People do this because they become too confident. They know they love their partners and that their partners love them and use that as their security. While knowing that your love for each other is great and powerful, it will not be enough to make your relationship last in a happy way.

People need to know that they are loved and cherished and that they are not being taken for granted. Laziness is a person's worst enemy and it will cost you your relationship if you do not take the time to let your partner know that he/she is special and the love. If your life.

Tell your partner how much he/she means to you, write something thoughtful in a card and give it to him/her, set a date to take him/her out a place you know you two will truly enjoy and feel like a successful romantic couple.

It does not require anything fancy to express your love to your partner and keep him/her satisfied, but the rewards for doing so will be wonderful and extremely beneficial to your relationship. Also remember - if your partner is not investing his/her share of efforts in showing you how much you mean to him/her, then you need to observe your relationship closely and give it a check up to see how healthy or unhealthy it really is.

Talk to your partner about how you feel and give him/her time to make positive changes and improvements that will please you. If they lack to do so even after your honest communication, then you will need to ask yourself if you think you are with the right person. After all, you deserve to be with someone who will tmly care about how you feel and will never want to disappoint or hurt you if he/she knows he/she holds the power to make things different.

Freedom: Give your partner freedom? Yes! Not the kind of freedom where you both are allowed to just go off and behave recklessly towards the relationship but freedom in a way that lets both you and your partner continue to be individuals.

Things to do while you're alive

1. See a broadway show, front-row center

2. Celebrate Carnival in Rio

3. Drink a mint julep at the Kentucky Derby

4. Build a house

5. Perfect a foreign accent

6. Attempt to break a world record

7. Invent Something

8. Climb Mount Everest

9. Celebrate the Fourth of July outside the U.S

10. Visit Taj Mahal

11. See cherry blossoms in D.C

12. Save a life

13. Learn to survive in the wilderness

14. Stand on the equator

15. Ride a boat through a fjord

16. Visit all 50 states 

17. Become financially independent

18. Watch a meteor shower

19. Tour MoMa with a personal guide

20. See the NFL draft live

21. Play Pinehurst No. 2

You can't have a favorite place until you've seen them all.

Suspect Abuse ? How You Can Help.

The only way to know for sure if someone you know is being abused is to ask. One of the common myths about battered women is that they don't want to talk about their victimization. While many do make efforts to hide the battering, they often do so because they fear being embarrassed, their partner finding out, being blamed, not being believed, or being pressured to do something they're not ready or able to do.

What you should do:

Believe her.

And let her know that you do. If you know her partner, remember that batterers most often behave differently in public than they do in private.

Listen to what she tells you.

If you actively listen, ask clarifying questions and avoid making judgments and giving advice. You will most likely learn directly from her what it is she needs.

Build on her strengths.

Actively identify the ways in which she has developed coping strategies, solved problems and exhibited courage and determination, even if her efforts have not been completely successful. Help her to build on these strengths.

Validate her feelings.

It is common for women to have conflicting feelings—love and fear; guilt and anger; hope and sadness. Let her know that her feelings are normal and reasonable.

Avoid victim-blaming.

Tell her that the abuse is not her fault. Reinforce that the abuse is her partner's problem and his responsibility. However, refrain from "bad-mouthing" him.

Take her fears seriously.

If you are concerned about her safety, express your concern without judgment. Simply say, "Your situation sounds dangerous and I'm concerned about your safety."

Offer help.

When it's appropriate, offer specific forms of help and information. If she asks you to do something you're willing and able to do, do it. If you can't or don't want to, say so and help her identify other ways to have that need met.

Be an active, creative partner in her safety-planning effort.

The key to planning is to take the problem, consider the full range of available options, evaluate the risks and benefits of different options, and identify ways to reduce the risks.

Support her decisions.

Remember that there are risks attached to every decision a battered woman makes. If you truly want to be helpful, be patient and respectful of her decisions.

What you should not do:

If you think a woman you know is being abused, don't wait for her to come to you. If she does confide in you, don't judge or blame her or her decisions—even if you don't agree with them. Don't pressure her into acting if she's not ready. Don't offer advice if it's not appropriate, and don't put conditions on your support of her.

Domestic Abuse Safety Plan

Safety planning for someone involved in an abusive relationship is a necessary and important step. Planning can begin while you're still with your abuser or after the relationship has ended. While still in an abusive relationship, your safety is of primary importance.

Keep these tips in mind when planning to leave an abusive partner:

Before you leave…

Get help to make a plan.

Create a code word.

Document your abuse.

Pack an emergency bag.

Document your abuse by…

Keeping a journal.

Seeing a doctor.

Filing a police report.

Taking photos.

Pack an emergency bag with…

Money

Your checkbook and bank info

Credit cards

Identification for you and your children

Car keys

Court papers

Medications

After you leave…

Tell family and friends.

Get an order of protection.

Put emergency call on speed dial.

Change your cell phone number.

Change your daily routine.

Avoid being alone.

Find a safe place to stay.

Abusive Men : The Red Flags

List of Red Flags:

1. He pushes too far, too fast, planning your future together right away.

2. He hates his mother and is nasty to her.

3. He wants your undivided attention.

4. He must always be in charge.

5. He always has to win.

6. He breaks promises all the time.

7. He can't take criticism and always justifies his actions.

8. He blames someone else for anything that goes wrong.

9. He's jealous of your close friends, family members, and all other men.

10. He always asks you where you went and whom you saw.

11. He has extreme highs and lows that are unpredictable.

12. He has a mean temper.

13. He often says you don't know what you're talking about.

14. He makes you feel like you're not good enough.

15. He withdraws his love or approval as punishment.

16. He pushes you to do things that make you feel uneasy, like taking the day off from work or even breaking the law.

Verbal Abuse: How To Save Yourself

How to save yourself from a bad guy ?

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. How many women think of that schoolyard rhyme while reeling from a partner's put-downs or angry outbursts? The rhyme's a lie. Cruel words can do worse than break bones: They can break your spirit, cripple your confidence, even make you physically ill.

"This can happen to any woman, with any family background or career." 

"It's happened to psychologists, lawyers, doctors, teachers, Web designers, mommies—even the director of a women's shelter." A woman falls into the trap because the abuse takes her by surprise. "He isn't abusive while he's courting you." 

But once he gets you, he switches—and you have no idea why."

Why Is This Happening—What to Do?

How can his voice drown out your inner knowing? 

1. The abuse only happens when you're alone with him. Friends and coworkers might think he's a prince, so you doubt your own perceptions or believe his anger must be your fault.

2. Verbal abuse escalates gradually; you adapt. (The abuse might also become physical.) He's Jekyll and Hyde, with just enough sweet times to keep you hoping the relationship will improve.

3. Assuming he's rational (aren't all men?) and wants what you want (loving mutuality), you strain to make sense of what he says. But it's nonsense, designed to confuse you. The shocking truth is, he seeks control, not intimacy.

Yet you can save your spirit. 

1. Recognize that the abuse has nothing to do with you or your actions or qualities.

2. Stop trying to explain and defend yourself. Instead, start setting limits: "Cut that out!" or "I don't want to hear that."

3. Listen carefully to your feelings. Believe them, not him.

4. Get support from a counselor or therapist. Make sure she understands that this isn't just a "conflict" or an "argument."

5. Keep in mind that an abuser might be able to change himself if he really wants to—but you can't change him. You can honor and nurture yourself.

Seven Signs You're In A Verbally Abusive Relationship

A checklist from the book that woke me up :

1. He seems irritated or angry with you several times a week. When you ask why he's mad, he either denies it or tells you it's in some way your fault.

2. When you feel hurt and try to talk with him, the issues never get resolved. He might refuse to discuss your upset feelings by saying "You're just trying to start an argument!" or claiming he has no idea what you're talking about.

3. You frequently feel frustrated because you can't get him to understand your intentions.

4. You're upset—not so much about concrete issues like how much time to spend together, but about communication: what he thinks you said and what you heard him say.

5. You sometimes think, "What's wrong with me? I shouldn't feel so bad."

6. He seems to take the opposite view from you on almost everything, and his opinion isn't stated as "I think," but as if you're wrong and he's right.

7. You can't recall saying "Cut it out!" or "Stop it!"

Adapted from The Verbally Abusive Relationship © 1992, 1996 by Patricia Evans. 

Expert Advice on Surviving Abuse

How to Know If Your Husband Has Truly Changed

If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, Dr. Steven Stosny explains, you have no doubt experienced "honeymoon" periods in the past when, driven by remorse, he seemed to change and everything was fine. The following will help you know that your partner is in the process of permanent change. You will feel that he consistently (every day):

1. Values and appreciates you—you are important to him;

2. Listens to you;

3. Shows compassion—cares how you feel, even when you disagree with him;

4. Respects you as an equal and doesn't try to control you or dismiss your opinions;

5. Shows affection without always expecting sex;

6. Regulates his guilt, shame, anxiety, resentment or anger, without blaming them on you.

Look for Compassion and Support, Not Remorse and Control

Most abusers feel guilt and remorse, at least in the first years of the abuse. Far from encouraging signs, guilt and remorse can actually lead to more abuse, as they:

1. Focus his attention on how bad hefeels;

2. Make him insist that you "get over it" so he can feel better.

In contrast, compassion:

1. Focuses attention on how youfeel;

2. Makes him want to help you feel better.

It is easy to confuse control with support, especially for men (and parents, for that matter) who feel protective. Here are some pointers to help you tell the difference. If he's trying to control you, he:

1. Tells you what to do and punishes you in some way if you don't do it;

2. Implies that you're not competent, smart or resourceful enough to do it on your own;

3. Makes it clear that your perspective isn't important.

If he's trying to support you, he:

1. Helps you find what is best for you to do and stands by you if what you decide doesn't work;

2. Respects your competence, intelligence, creativity and resourcefulness;

3. Values your opinions, even if he disagrees.

Tips for Husbands to Reconnect

If you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship, Dr. Steven Stosny explains, you almost certainly have developed habits of emotional disconnection. For instance, touch and eye contact are usually the first things to go in distressed relationships.

Because your husband has to overcome a nagging sense of relationship inadequacy, he should initiate all of the following for the first months of recovery.

Establish a daily routine of brief but consistent moments of emotional connection with your wife:

1. Hug at least six times a day and hold each hug for at least six seconds. (Hold them that long to overcome any initial awkwardness.)

2. Take at least six seconds six times a day to appreciate her

3. Have a weekly date night with just the two of you. (Inexpensive activities or just going for a walk alone together will do the trick.) This has to be as important as an appointment with your boss;

4. Adopt a brief daily ritual that expresses your wife's importance to you. For example, offer a single flower or a flower petal, light a candle, write a note or hum a few bars of a song you both like;

5. Imagine a permanent lifeline—like the kind the astronauts use in outer space—connecting you emotionally, no matter how far apart you are;

6. Take six seconds six times a day to think positively about her when you are not with her. This will make you behave more positively toward her when you are with her.

Steven Stosny, Ph.D.

Founder, CompassionPower

www.compassionpower.com

Books referenced:

Manual of the Core Value Workshop

The Powerful Self: A Workbook of Therapeutic Self-Empowerment

What verbal and emotional abuse is

What Is Domestic Violence ?

Recognizing what behaviors are part of domestic violence is not always easy, even for victims themselves. 

This is, in part, because domestic violence is much more than physical abuse. In fact, many battered women who are controlled by their partners and who live in danger and fear have never been physically assaulted.

Understanding what domestic violence is means being aware of the many different things abusers do to control their partners. The following checklist of behaviors may help you decide if you or someone you know is being abused.

Does your partner…

Use emotional and psychological control?

Call you names, yell, put you down, make racial or homophobic slurs, or constantly criticize or undermine you and your abilities as a wife, partner or mother?

Behave in an overprotective way or become extremely jealous?

Make it difficult for you to see family and friends, or "bad-mouth" your family and friends?

Prevent you from going where you want to, when you want to, and with whomever you want to?

Humiliate or embarrass you in front of other people?

Use economic control?

Deny you access to family assets like bank accounts, credit cards or a car?

Control all the finances, force you to account for what you spend or take your money?

Prevent you from getting or keeping a job or from going to school?

Limit your access to health, prescription and/or dental insurance?

Make threats?

Threaten to report you to the authorities (the police, courts or child protective services) for something you didn't do?

Threaten to harm or kidnap the children?

Make you afraid by using looks, actions or gestures?

Display weapons as a way of making you afraid or directly threaten you with weapons?

Use anger or "loss of temper" as a threat to get you to do what he wants?

Threaten to expose your sexual orientation to friends, family or employer, if you are gay or lesbian?

Threaten to report you to INS or immigration?

Commit acts of physical violence?

Carry out threats to hurt you, your children, pets, family members, friends or himself?

Destroy personal property or throw things around?

Grab, push, hit, punch, slap, kick, choke or bite you?

Force you to have sex when you don't want to or to engage in sexual acts that you don't want to do?

Prevent you from taking medications or getting medical care?

Deny you access to food, fluids or sleep?

These are some of the most common tactics used by abusers to control their partners, they are but certainly not the only ones. If your partner does things that restrict your personal freedom or make you afraid, you may be a victim of domestic violence.

De - Stress After Divorce

1. Stop, take a deep breath, think. Make sure you act, not react. Try to acknowledge your emotions without always acting on them. This will go a long way to avoiding the turmoil so many face when going through a divorce. If you feel out of control, don't be ashamed to get professional help.

2. Don't be afraid to explore the evolution and the demise of your relationship. You can gain valuable insight into your selection process, expectations of marriage, and reasons for the divorce. Understanding what attracted you to this person in the first place may provide you with some surprising answers.

3. Just as in the case of the death of a loved one, you will need to recognize and work through the stages of grief and loss. You are likely to experience shock and denial, bargaining, depression, anger, resignation, and finally, acceptance.

4. Allow yourself to feel the pain, because without this part of the process you may very well end up feeling numb, which is much worse.

5. Find ways to express your anger and frustration in constructive, not destructive ways. Anger that takes on the form of revenge, rage, blame, violence, or feeling out of control keeps you stuck in the past and connected to your ex in unhealthy ways.

6. Do what you need to do to regain control over your life. Seeking professional help, going back to school, learning new skills, or going to a support group are all positive ways to not only nurture yourself, but begin to build a new life.

7. Turn negative thoughts and attitudes into positive actions. Try to concentrate on what you have, not what you have lost.

8. Create an atmosphere of good will and good faith. Take the high road whenever possible because this will help to rebuild your self-esteem. Hang out with healthy people and learn from them.

9. Set realistic goals for yourself. Make a determined effort to get through one day at a time. Don't be surprised when you have momentary setbacks, you wouldn't be human if you didn't experience remorse. You may even have moments when you're not sure you've made the right decision(s). Be a friend to yourself and realize that no one has all the answers.

10. Make sure to reward yourself throughout the process. Indulge you senses. Choose nurturing, constructive rewards. You deserve it. Congratulate yourself for all your hard work, because dealing with divorce in a grown up fashion is one of the most difficult things you will ever do.

4 Steps to Forgiveness

Step 1: Pain and Hurt

The first step to forgiveness is acknowledging what happened. 

Talk to someone you trust and open up about how hurt, sad or angry you may feel. Let your emotions out and don't apologize for them.

Don't withdraw or isolate yourself. Stay connected and feel the pain, even though it hurts. With someone there to listen, the pain is more bearable.

Step 2: Reliving and Reflecting

Once you've had the chance to vent, you are ready to appeal to your rational side.

Ask yourself: What do you want this pain to turn into?

Look for the hook. The hook is what is holding you back—it's the portion of the misdeed that is causing you to hold on to your anger and resentment.

Empathize with the person who hurt you.

Remember that forgiveness is not the service of condoning. It's a service to yourself—free yourself from the poison of hatred.

Step 3: Working It Out

This step is difficult, but you need to analyze your anger and put your life back into perspective.

Flatten the hook and rid yourself of the anger that is keeping you from forgiveness. Praying and mediating can help.

Take inventory and give thanks for all the things you do have.

You can imagine vengeance—just don't act on it.

Think of your future. Know that you and your loved ones will be better off once you have rid yourself of any vengeful thinking.

Step 4: Renounce Your Anger and Resentment

Uses the word "renounce" because your resentful feelings may never permanently go away. 

Acknowledge that your anger can come back.

If your anger does comes back, go through the process again and flatten the hook to keep moving forward.

Try to teach others the skill of forgiveness in an empathetic way.

Read an excerpt from Dare to Forgive by Dr. Ned Hallowell

A Happier You

The greatest goal you can set this year is to make peace with your life, no matter your circumstances. These 10 powerful insights from Eckhart Tolle will get you started.

Don't seek happiness. If you seek it, you won't find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness. Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is rather than making up stories about it.

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral, which always is as it is. There is the situation or the fact, and here are my thoughts about it. Instead of making up stories, stay with the facts. For example, "I am ruined" is a story. It limits you and prevents you from taking effective action. "I have 50 cents left in my bank account" is a fact. Facing facts is always empowering.

See if you can catch the voice in your head, perhaps in the very moment it complains about something, and recognize it for what it is: the voice of the ego, no more than a thought. Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not the voice, but the one who is aware of it. In fact, you are the awareness that is aware of the voice. In the background, there is the awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind.

Wherever you look, there is plenty of circumstantial evidence for the reality of time—a rotting apple, your face in the bathroom mirror compared with your face in a photo taken 30 years ago—yet you never find any direct evidence, you never experience time itself. You only ever experience the present moment.

Why do anxiety, stress, or negativity arise? Because you turned away from the present moment. And why did you do that? You thought something else was more important. One small error, one misperception, creates a world of suffering.

People believe themselves to be dependent on what happens for their happiness. They don't realize that what happens is the most unstable thing in the universe. It changes constantly. They look upon the present moment as either marred by something that has happened and shouldn't have or as deficient because of something that has not happened but should have. And so they miss the deeper perfection that is inherent in life itself, a perfection that lies beyond what is happening or not happening. Accept the present moment and find the perfection that is untouched by time.

The more shared past there is in a relationship, the more present you need to be; otherwise, you will be forced to relive the past again and again.

Equating the physical body with "I," the body that is destined to grow old, wither, and die, always leads to suffering. To refrain from identifying with the body doesn't mean that you no longer care for it. If it is strong, beautiful, or vigorous, you can appreciate those attributes—while they last. You can also improve the body's condition through nutrition and exercise. If you don't equate the body with who you are, when beauty fades, vigor diminishes, or the body becomes incapacitated, this will not affect your sense of worth or identity in any way. In fact, as the body begins to weaken, the light of consciousness can shine more easily.

You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge.

If peace is really what you want, then you will choose peace.

Exerpted from Oneness with All Life by Eckhart Tolle. Published by arrangement with Dutton, a member of Penguin Group (USA), Inc. Copywright © 2008 by Eckhart Tolle

Getting Started With Meditation

How do I do it?

Sit comfortably, with your back erect. It is fine to sit in a chair or on an arrangement of cushions on the floor. If necessary, you can lie down. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, feeling the breath as it enters your nostrils and fills your chest and abdomen; then release it. Allow the breath to become natural, without forcing it or controlling it. Let your attention rest on one breath at a time.

What if my mind wanders?

If your mind wanders, don't be concerned. Notice whatever has captured your attention, then let go of the thought or feeling, and return to the awareness of the breath. In this way, meditation teaches us gentleness and an ability to forgive our mistakes in life and to go on.

How do I find the time?

If you can pick a set time and place to meditate each day, it will enhance the sense of sacredness. But if you're not able to sit regularly, you can still benefit. Even the ordinary activities of daily life can be times of meditation when you free yourself from the strictures of habit and the tendency to be only half-alive.

What will happen to me when I'm meditating? What will I experience?

Sometimes you will tap into a wellspring of peace. Other times you might feel waves of sleepiness, boredom, anxiety, anger, or sadness. Images may arise, old songs might replay, long-buried memories can surface. Success in meditation is measured not in terms of whatever may be happening but rather how we are relating to what is happening. If you feel overwhelmed by thoughts or feelings, use awareness of your breath to anchor your attention to your body.

What do I do when my thoughts just won't stop?

Some people have a mistaken idea that through meditation all thoughts disappear and we enter a state of blankness. There certainly are times of great tranquility when concentration is strong and we have few, if any, thoughts. But other times, we can be flooded with memories, plans, or random thinking. It's important not to blame yourself. Notice that you don't invite your thoughts. You haven't said, "At 6:15 I'd like to be ruminating about the past." Thoughts come and go without our volition, but we don't have to be ruled by them.

Can meditation help me deal with physical pain?

What you learn about pain in formal meditation can help you relate to it in your daily life. In meditation, one of the first things you may notice about pain is that when you start to feel it in one part of your body, the rest of your body tenses up. This can increase the pain. Consciously take a deep breath and relax your muscles. As you relax physically, you will discover greater ease of mind.

Can meditation help depression?

Depression has many causes. While it is important to investigate its possible biochemical basis and seek out psychotherapeutic help if necessary, meditation may also be useful. Dedicating some time to meditation is a meaningful expression of caring for yourself that can help you move through the mire of feeling unworthy of recovery. As your mind grows quieter and more spacious, you can begin to see self-defeating thought patterns for what they are, and open up to other, more positive options.

How do I know if I'm doing it right? Do I need a teacher?

There are many different ways to practice meditation; it's good to experiment until you find one that seems to suit you. If you feel confused about the techniques, it's useful to consult a teacher, speak with more experienced meditators, read a book, or listen to a tape.

5 Quotes to Open Your Heart

Five little bites of inspiration. Memorize now, mull over as needed.

"Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." 

— Theodore Roethke

"Every beginning, after all, is nothing but a sequel, and the book of events is always open in the middle." 

— Wislawa Szymborska

"Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground." 

— Rumi

"Behind all this, some great happiness is hiding." 

— Yehuda Amichai

"If you hear a voice within you say, 'You are not a painter,' then by all means paint…and that voice will be silenced." 

— Vincent Van Gogh

What do you know for sure

l asked my self, "What do you know for sure?" and I got all flustered and started stuttering and couldn't come up with an answer, I've never stopped asking myself that question. And every month I must find yet another answer
I looked back and came up with "what I know for sure" :

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what.

2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough.

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

19. When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

20. "Trouble don't last always."

Why Women Date "Bad Boys"

Why does a guy who doesn't know how to commit, is narcissistic, self-absorbed and only concerned about himself in bed seem like a good boyfriend? why "bad boys" seem sexy, why women date them and what they should do instead.

What makes bad boys so attractive to women?

1.They're different. "

Bad boys are interesting, they're nonconventional, they're iconoclastic and a breath of fresh air," After a woman has dated a lot of guys, they may all be a blur—then this guy comes along, and he doesn't care what anyone thinks about him.

2.They're dynamic. 

Men are attracted to women's passivity, but women hate being placed in a passive state. "Women love men who bring them out by making them laugh, being dynamic and exciting". "Bad boys are confident, rebellious—they just reek belief in themselves."

3.They need rescuing. 

Some women have a "messiah complex"—they want to be the person who can rescue the bad boy. "They think, 'Only I see he's a diamond in the rough. Everyone else sees him as a bad boy, but I know the tender heart he has'"."When you are the only one who can rescue the guy, you're special, unique. You immediately have a special relationship with him that no other woman has because only you can help him."

4.The women are not in it for a commitment. Some women are passive commitment-phobes. Active commitment-phobes get uncomfortable the longer a relationship goes on and start trying to find faults in order to end it. A passive commitment-phobic woman dates bad boys from the outset, thereby sabotaging the relationship so it can never develop.

What's the solution?

1.Consider "nice guys." 

"Women need to finally find goodness and kindness to be interesting". "It's not only rebellious behavior that is interesting. Nice guys deserve a shot."

2.Realize who bad boys really are. Bad boys don't have real confidence. "A person who's overly aggressive with their personality, who's an attention seeker—it's because they're insecure. "Really deep down, there's this broken little boy who needs to rebel or who needs to bed women to feel good about himself."

3.Have some self-respect. Don't be with a guy who's going to treat you like dirt. "Every doormat says 'Welcome.' You're not a doormat."

"Women who love bad boys suffer from a 'messiah complex'—only I can save him, only I see that he's a diamond in the rough. Better to rescue a good man from his loneliness than a bad boy from his misogyny."

The Truth About Love

On Valentine's Day, love can mean hearts, flowers and chocolates. Yet love can also be so much more.

Whether you're spending this Valentine's Day with your spouse, your children, your neighbors or your friends, reminds that the foundation for real love means loving YOURSELF FIRST.

Maybe you are pining after a lost lover. Or the spark in your current relationship has disappeared. Perhaps you feel alone and beaten down by love. Or maybe you're head-over-heels in love with the man or woman of your dreams. No matter what your situation may be, you must love the one you're with first: YOU. "Even if you have an awesome romantic love connection, a deep mature relationship with another human being, you still have to have the foundation of self love,"

Cautions us not to get too caught up in the familiar trappings of the holiday, like expensive lingerie and candlelit dinners. "Before you spend your money or your time, or loan your heart out to someone else for love, make sure you're loving the one you're with, which is YOU,"

Romantic love changes over time, and self love is one of the key ingredients to making it last and thrive. "If it's grounded and rooted in something that is real and if your own sense of respect and self love and dignity is in place, then that romantic love transforms itself and it grows itself into something that is authentically lasting, that is fulfilling, that is meaningful and that can carry you the distance," 

Uncovering Your Shadow Beliefs

A "Shadow Belief" is an unconscious belief that influences our entire lives, tells us what we can and can not do, and drives our behaviors.

More About Shadow Beliefs :

Shadow beliefs are what hold you back in life—and you may not even have known they were doing it !

Some of your shadow beliefs are preventing you from getting what you want in life.

Most people know they have these beliefs, but are taught to hide them because we are ashamed and embarrassed. But you can overcome them and live your best life ! There's nobody in the world smarter about you than you !

Do you believe any of the following statements ?

There is something wrong with me.

I cannot trust anyone.

I'm not lovable.

I don't deserve to have what I want.

Love does not last.

I am worthless.

I am never going to be successful.

If you've checked off any of the previous statements, you have shadow beliefs that need your attention. Uncover your shadow beliefs !

How to Get Started

Follow these three steps to uncover your shadow beliefs.

We can all find what is holding us back in life. Start with these three steps and simple exercises.

"To go deeper, you have to be radically honest with yourself. All of your emotions are there to guide you." 

Step One: Get in touch with your pain and emotions. "You can't heal if you can't feel."

Step Two: Once you're feeling that pain or emotion, try and connect it to your past to uncover where that pattern of pain began. 

Step Three: Embark on a healing ritual that will help you surrender that pain and anger once and for all.

If you're hurt by another person's behavior, try these exercises to see what you might uncover about yourself !

Exercises to Uncover Your Shadow Beliefs :

Shadow beliefs cause us to make the same mistakes over and over again. Try these simple exercises for uncovering these beliefs.

Exercise One

For one week, whenever you find yourself overreacting to another person's behavior, ask yourself: What traits in that person are you trying to disown in yourself?

Exercise Two

Also, make a list of the advice you give others and ask yourself if the advice is appropriate for your life. 

"We often teach what we need to learn."

Finding Meaning and Purpose in Your Life

Do you wonder about your life's purpose? How do you become happy? How do you find inner peace?

Step One: Discover your soul and its path. 

Align your personality with your soul. Until that happens, you won't be able to give the gifts you were meant to. Remind yourself daily of the following:

You are a soul first and a personality second.

You are worthy. You are not on this Earth by accident. You have a reason to be here. There's a difference between accepting that in your mind and accepting in your heart.

It's not an "it" that you're looking for—it's your life that you're living.

You are here to create an authentically empowered life. There is no guarantee you will do it. It's up to you.

Step Two: Open Your Heart to Feelings

Be aware of what you're feeling, because your feelings are the force field of your soul. Use the following techniques to embrace your feelings:

Experience everything you are feeling, even when it's anger, sadness or jealousy. Underneath anger, for example, if you stay with it long enough you will find pain. If you feel it, you can deal with it!

Let the feelings go, but use your will consciously. When you feel depressed, jealous, sad or angry, understand that these are the things that you must heal in order to go where your wholeness is calling you to go.

Step Three: Conquer Your Fears

Allow yourself to consider this possibility: There is no tragedy in life, and there are no victims. In this consideration lies your own empowerment.

How can there not be tragedies?

In many ways, your enemies can teach you much more than your friends. You can't have control over what happens to you in this moment, but you do have control over your response to it, and over the context in which you put it. In the case of rape, there are many people who will go through traumas and see themselves as victims. And others who will find compassion and understand that anyone who is doing violence is hurting very much.

Step Four: The Four Things Every Soul Needs

1. Harmony. The perception of power as external that separates nations is the same that exists between individuals. The love, clarity and compassion that emerges within the person that aligns themselves with the soul is the same that will bring harmony to other people's lives.

2. Cooperation. We are together because we want to be together, not because we have to be. Realizing together, co-creations emerge.

3. Sharing. Share what is important to you—not possessions. Give yourself.

4. Reverence for Life. Reverence is a level of protection and honor about the process of life so that while a person is maturing toward the journey and through the journey of authentic empowerment, he or she harms nothing

How to heal the pain of a divorce

Divorce is not an easy situation to be in, no matter if it is your first, second or whatever. Going through the stages of divorce is in some ways a failure that you are facing. It is not a pretty way to look at it, but essentially that is what it is. Thinking back on the day when the two of you met and then dated and eventually married always seems so great during a divorce. So many people sit and ponder on what could have been if only......

Instead of looking at all the great times and feeling sorry for yourself think about why it ended. If it was not your decision then it can be even harder to understand. Although it can also help you to realize that it was NOT your fault and you are not to blame. Your spouse was the one who gave up. No matter how it ended the thing is, its over and you need to move on, no matter how hard it seems it is doable!

Each person handles situations differently and will go through different emotions as well. No matter how strong or weak you feel, realize that there this a light at the end of the tunnel and you will get through it! Here are some helpful tips to help yourself through the grieving process of divorce.

* Have a support system behind you *

Surround yourself with family and friends who are there emotionally for you. Having someone to talk to through the process you are going though is vital for anyone. We all need to know we have people around us that care about us and are there for us. When you need someone to talk to make sure it is someone you trust and rely on. Do not talk to your children and expect them to be your counselor, they are going through their own grieving process. You want to stay as positive as you can with your children and never say bad things about your ex no matter how bad you are hurting. If you do not have anyone to talk to join a support group in your area. That is a great way to talk to people that are going through te same things that you are at the time.

* Allow yourself to feel your emotions *

Do not suppress the emotions that you are feeling. You need to let them out and allow yourself to grieve. If you are worried about how others will react wait until you are alone and allow yourself to have a good cry to release your emotions. Write down your feelings in a journal to help yourself be able to express yourself. Even simply writing is a great activity to let your feelings out.

* Get out with family and friends *

Getting out of the house and the same old routine can help you realize that you are still alive and able to have fun. Just because you are going out it does not mean that you are looking for a new spouse already, you can just go out to have fun with friends or family members. Just going to the movies, out to dinner, the mall anywhere that you like and getting out of the rut you may be in is helpful. Going out with others also gives you a time to focus on something else rather then moping around thinking about the divorce constantly. There is more to life after a divorce then the grief you may be feeling.

* Give yourself time *

Allow yourself time to feel the way you feel and don't get down on yourself for having the feelings that you do. Make sure that you are patient with yourself and deal with things now. If you suppress the feelings now they will creep up on you later on and you will go through this over and over. Deal with things now and give yourself as much time as you need without isolating yourself from the rest of the world. Make sure you talk to someone and write in a journal to help let your feelings out.

Each person is different and will heal at different speeds. It is important to realize you are only human after all and divorce is a hard thing to deal with. Facing the problem head on is crucial in healing your wounds. If you feel that you are having a difficult time with no light ahead, then maybe it is time to talk to a professional. Don't feel ashamed in any way! Take the steps to properly take care of yourself so that you heal all the way and you don't leave open wounds to take out on anyone else you may meet.

Don't forget to smile, it really can make you feel better!

THE END OF MY STORY

How to heal the pain of a divorce

One of the most painful emotional experiences is the loss of a relationship whether through a divorce of marriage or just breakup of a relationship that was promising. In divorce, you feel so much pain and grief. The pain comes from not only a great sense of loss (losing the most important person in your life), but there is also the pain of seeing your hopes and aspirations of a future life together destroyed as well. If you do not handle the situation well, you may go into a severe depression. World wide, divorce is named as one of the major causes of severe depression, especially amongst women. But with determination and the resolve to survive, the pain of divorce can be healed.

How to heal the pains
The first thing to do is to tell yourself that you can and will get through this whole unfortunate situation. It is possible that much of the pain is coming from identity crisis; not knowing who you are any more without your partner. This may not necessarily be because you didn't have your own identity while in the relationship, but that your relationship had become part of that identity. Assure yourself that this will change and that you will feel secure in yourself again.

Second: Sort your feelings It is important that you try to separate your feelings, beliefs and responses. Recognize the feelings that belong to the present circumstance and the ones coming from past experiences. This is hard to do when you are feeling overwhelmed, but you have to do it as a process of healing your pain.

Third: Don't lose faith in yourself Try not to fall back into gloom each time you feel better. Grief comes in waves up and down. Sometimes letting go happens after you've allowed yourself to grieve and rage. At other times you have to deliberately and consciously focus on letting go. Telling yourself that you are letting go of your ex- spouse can be helpful in healing the pain of divorce.

Fourth: Don't deny the pain: The true road to emotional freedom is to feel the pain of his or her absence and work through the pain, then come out healed and strong, facing the realities of the divorce.

Fifth: Fill your life with activities that you enjoy Do not get stuck thinking or talking about him or her. Redirect your focus to something else. Do some creative, playful, sociable and soulful activities. These are ways to nurture yourself back to health.

Six: Realize that there is life and a future after divorce Do not desperately cling to a hope of restoration. You need to understand that desperate clinging behavior causes most people to distance themselves even further.

Seven: Create a firewall ritual to formalize the end of the relationship When someone dies we have a formal funeral and after that we begin to heal and forget. But when a loved one leaves we have no such comforting ritual. Well, you can create your own. That might help to heal the pains. Get rid of love letters, pictures, keepsakes and souvenirs.

Eight: Treat and indulge yourself Do things that give you pleasure. Go to the gym, visit friends, go running and skipping.

Nine: Each day, count your blessings: Think of all that you have to be grateful for. Make a list of all the things that are great about you and enjoy ruminating over them.

Ten: Develop yourself Go on a personal development workshop that will boost your positive self image. Surround yourself with people who give you hope rather than drag you back or down. Consistently keep a positive perspective and be enthusiastic about the life you are living. You will just find yourself enthusiastically enjoying life leaving the pain of divorce behind you

Happy New Year Wish

My Happy New Year wish for you

Is for your best year yet,

A year where life is peaceful,

And what you want, you get.

A year in which you cherish

The past year’s memories,

And live your life each new day

Full of bright expectancies.

I wish for you a holiday

With happiness galore;

And when it’s done,

I wish you

Happy New Year, and many more

Shopping in Canada

From haute couture to beaver pelts and gold nuggets, the variety of shopping in Canada will suite anyone's taste.

Robson Street in downtown Vancouver, BC has a long tradition of shopping history. Named after John Robson, B.C. Premier from 1889-1892, Robson Street shops started to spring up after the train tracks were laid along it in 1895. Post World War II, Robson Street became known as “Robsonsstrasse”, as a result of the many European pastry shops, delis and boutiques that opened.

Today, Robson hosts some of the hippest shopping in Canada, from top-end vintage to fresh-off-the-runway. A large number of international students now populate the surrounding areas, and the influences are easily seen. Korean barbeques and Japanese noodle shops are numerous on the street, even more so as one walks west towards English Bay.

Perhaps the most famous of Canadian shopping is in West Edmonton Mall in Edmonton, Alberta. Much more than just a mall, West Edmonton Mall is also an amusement park, ice skating rink, movie theatre, concert hall and much more. There are over 800 stores and services, 100 choices for getting a bite to eat, plus eight top-notch attractions. This is arguably the most impressive of Canada shopping, spanning the equivalent of 48 city blocks. When it's cold out in Edmonton, the West Edmonton Mall is a warm mini-city of fun and shopping.

You may be surprised to know that the world's largest and longest underground shopping complex is in Toronto, Ontario. Famed for entertainment, the Toronto Entertainment District is also famous for spectacular shopping in Canada. Called PATH, this underground shopping complex holds more than 1,200 shops and services. It's even in the Guinness Book of World Records! PATH stretches out 10 kilometers (6.5 miles) and holds a hotel, one-of-a-kind shops, games, restaurants and entertainment. Canada shopping all in one long, underground stretch, this is what PATH offers.

For very unique Canadian shopping, head up to the Yukon to the Log Skyscraper Trading Post. Located in Whitehorse, Yukon, the Log Skyscraper is a four-storey log building located in the downtown district. The actual trading post is a two-storey log structure, right in from of the Skyscraper. Martin Berrigan, a Yukon pioneer in the 1940's built both structures. They are now designated as a Municipal Historic Site and are the most photographed building in the Yukon Territory.

At the Trading Post, shoppers can buy anything from a Klondike gold nugget to a lynx fur. Local handicrafts, Northern books and candy can also be purchased.

Things To Do in Vancouver

Where the blue ocean waters meet the majestic mountains is where Vancouver, one of the world’s most spectacular cities lies. The combination of urban sophistication and natural beauty enables visitors a fantastic range of exciting activities combined with beautiful backdrops.

Granville Island

When planning things to do in Vancouver one of the best attractions of this diverse city is Granville Island. Step out from your Vancouver hotel to the island that encompasses many of the things to do in Vancouver including fresh foods at the well-known market, many quaint shops to browse in, artist’s workshops and restaurants to name a few and is found underneath the south end of Granville Street Bridge on False Creek.

Stanley Park

Less than a mile away from downtown visitors will find Stanley Park, the oldest park in Vancouver history, which offers a wealth of things to do in Vancouver. Stanley Park has 1000 acres of green space with abundant flora and fauna amongst beautiful settings and offers lots of things to do in Vancouver. There are of events and holidays hosted in the park all year, especially in spring and summer so be sure to check the calendar of events. Take a one mile walk to the unforgettable Capilano Suspension Bridge just through the park and over Lions Gate Bridge.

Neighborhood Tours

When in Vancouver things to do include exploring the different districts and neighborhoods which is the best way to see the city. City transport includes SkyTrain, SeaBus, West Coast Express, B-Line, and Community Shuttle services which makes taking advantage of Vancouver’s great neighborhoods fun and easy. Take a walk through Little India or Chinatown, a Shanghai-like district. Tour the trendy beachfront area of Kitsilano which overlooks Stanley Park and provides breathtaking views of the North Shore Mountains. When in the downtown area don’t miss the Vancouver Aquarium.

Shopping

If you’ve got the shopping bug or are looking for a special souvenir in Vancouver things to do for retail therapy would be to head to a Vancouver shopping district. Head to Robson Street and take a look through some of its trendy shops and designer boutiques. Yaletown is an exceptionally modern urban neighborhood where old buildings have been renovated into unique galleries and storefronts and ethnic restaurants, bakeries, coffeehouse and nightclubs abound.

Historic Gastown

The historic district of Gastown is where the true origins of Vancouver can be found along cobblestone streets. Some of the city’s finest hotels and restaurants can be found here as well as more funky venues such as cafes, tapas bars, art galleries, antique stores and jazz halls. Gastown, Vancouver things to do are plenty and a day and evening spent in Gastown can be really fun. Downtown’s West End English Bay is one of Vancouver’s most diverse neighborhoods. Gift shops, bookstores, and clothiers along with other specialty and trendy shops can be found here among many eclectic eateries and great restaurants, many with fantastic views.

Outdoor Activities

Things to do in Vancouver along the shores of the ocean can be happily executed at Jericho Beach found between the North Walls and Discovery Street. Natural sandy beaches combined with numerous activities makes this beach a great place to spend the day. If winter sports are your thing than definitely visit one of the mountains located just outside of Vancouver for an unbeatable skiing experience. Try out Cypress Mountain found just 20 minutes outside of the city, or Grouse Mountain a mere 15 minutes from downtown! Or take a trip to Whistler and experience some of the best conditions in Canada.

Vancouver Festivals

Festivals are some of the most fun things to do in Vancouver and include the International Children’s Festival, Shakespeare Festival, Jazz Festival, Caribbean Days Festival and the Film Festival. Check the city’s calendar of events for things to do in Vancouver BC and for specific event dates. Things to do in Vancouver run the gamut from year round outdoor activities to shopping, dining and sightseeing and define Vancouver as one of the most exciting cities in Canada.

Vancouver

Vancouver, British Columbia is a rare blend of big-city lifestyle and outdoor adventure. Where else can a person ski, sail, and dance the night away, all in one single day? Vancouver Canada attractions are set in a blessed location with mountains, ocean, islands and even farmland within short reach. A new city in many ways, Vancouver is still changing and growing. Being such a desirable place to live, this will inevitably continue as more people discover the gem of Western Canada.

Vancouver is a city of immigrants. It’s rare to find someone who was actually born in the city. Walking on Vancouver streets, dozens of languages can be heard. Not only are non-Canadians moving to Vancouver, many Canadians from other provinces come to Vancouver for its laid-back lifestyle.

Because of its mild climate, Vancouver tourism is up and running year round. Spring through fall are the most appealing times to visit, when the rain has tapered off a bit.

The best way to learn about Vancouver is through its many attractions. Vancouver travel presents a limitless number of options for outdoor exploration and cultural discovery. It is difficult to narrow down the attractions, so finding a Vancouver tourism book may help you in creating an itinerary.

One activity that is very Vancouver Canada is walking (or biking, rollerblading, running) along the seawall in Stanley Park. Stanley Park is one of the largest urban parks in the world, and offers some magnificent ocean views. While in Stanley Park, you can also see First Nations totem poles, a rose garden, or take a carriage ride.

During July and August the HSBC Celebration of Light festival brings out the whole city for a magnificent fireworks competition. A float is set up in the middle of English Bay where the fireworks are shot off and can be seen from the beaches of English Bay all the way to Jericho Beach.

For a bit of history and culture, make a visit to Chinatown. Markets full of fresh produce, seafood and barbeque pork line the streets. Famous Chinese Vancouver BC restaurants are located here, a great way to fill up after shopping in the many quaint and unusual Chinese shops.

Vancouver travel is not complete without visiting Granville Island. Located on False Creek, this marketplace delivers some of the best produce, European meats and cheeses that Vancouver has to offer. There are also dozens of artsy shops and galleries to peruse, as well as some Vancouver BC restaurants, with beautiful water views.

Vancouver tourism will often point you to Gastown, one of the oldest and most historical parts of town. The cobblestone streets and brick buildings of Gastown will remind you that Vancouver is not as new as the other parts of the city would lead you to believe. There are plenty more shops and restaurants here in which to pass the time. A bonus: panoramic views of the North Shore mountains and Coal Harbor.

Speaking of the North Shore, this is another highlight of Vancouver that is not always mentioned in your Vancouver Tourism book. Just cross a bridge and you’re in the wilderness (or close to it, anyway!). There are hundreds of trails in the North Shore for hiking and walking. With the great outdoors being so close to Vancouver, it’s easy to surround yourself with trees for an afternoon.

Another great highlight are the Vancouver BC restaurants. Take your pick of ethnicity and atmosphere, and you’ve got a meal to remember. Watch the sunset over the bay in your choice of Kitsilano, Yaletown, Cole Harbour or English Bay restaurants. Try a trendy bistro on South Granville or Robson Street. Take a quick drive to Richmond and sample some of the best Chinese cuisine in the world. Or, pack a picnic lunch and enjoy the view at Lighthouse Park on the North Shore.

With the many flights to Vancouver, there is no excuse not to get out and see what everyone is talking about.

The best time to travel in Canada depends on what you plan to do there. Summertime brings the most pleasant weather, and therefore is the most popular time to visit. If you plan to go to the far north of Canada or to camp, July and August are pretty much the only months guaranteed to be warm enough. If your Canada vacation includes outdoor activities such as hiking, fishing and boating, spring through fall is the best time to go. In general, summer begins in late May and lasts until mid-September. Fall begins mid-September until around mid-November. Winter lasts from mid-November until mid-March, and spring goes from mid-March until late May. Tourism in Canada is at its highest mid-June until mid-September. During these months, prices go up considerably and accommodations are often booked up. If you are planning a Canadian vacation during this time, book early to get the best selection. Another disadvantage of Canadian travel during the summertime is that bugs are at their worst, so don't forget your bug repellent-especially if you plan on being in the woods.

During the summer months, Canada is buzzing with an excitement that the warm weather brings. Outdoor festivals, parades, fairs and carnivals celebrate the short time when days are long and nights are warm. If you don't mind the crowds and the price-hikes, summertime may be a good time for you to take your Canadian vacation.

The shoulder season during spring and fall is often a pleasant alternative to the prices and crowds of the summer months. If you are looking for cheap Canada vacation packages, it is advisable to book during this time. The months of April, May, September and October are often just as enjoyable as the summer months, especially in the milder coastal areas and the big cities. Keep in mind though, that spring can be pretty muddy in places where snow has just melted.

If you decide to travel in Canada because you want to find some great skiing, winter is the obvious season to go. December through February are the best months to find perfect snow conditions. Though most festivals take place during the summer months, the Quebec Winter Carnival and other ski/ snowboard themed events are held during the winter. Tourism in Canada may be quiet elsewhere in Canada during the winter, but on the ski hills, it's a different story. You may not find cheap Canada vacation packages at the ski resorts during the heart of ski season, but come February, prices start to go down.

Though it is generally true that the weather gets warmer during the summer months, not all areas of Canada have summer-like conditions. It is important to remember that some of the Canadian provinces are huge, and weather and temperature can vary greatly within each province. As an example, the province of Québec reaches all the way from the chilly Arctic to the mild south, and the weather varies accordingly. For this reason, Canadian travel is a unique and exciting experience, no matter what time of year you go.